Saturday, 30 May 2009

YEOWCH Spanky Award


CHERRY RED REPORT

In the world of adult blogging content is king. Quality content that is diverse, informative, interesting and enjoyable to read is a thing to be admired and treasured so it is no surprise that the next recipient of the world famous YEOWCH SPANKY award deservedly goes to none other than CHERRY RED REPORT run with mucho chutzpah by Dave from across the pond.

Cherry Red Report is a superb blog which sets the bar very high indeed and which should be a benchmark for every spanking blog author wannabee - including yours truly - should aspire to reach. Featuring insightful comment and opinion with a light humorous touch Dave also uses his contacts to bring the reader industry interviews with the main movers and shakers in the spanking world which of course makes him the luckiest bastard on the planet. Jealous? Moi? Not fucking much mate..

So do yourself a favour and go visit. I can guarantee you'll go back every single day to check this great spanking blog out. Congrats Dave on a job well done.

To visit click the following link: Cherry Red Report

Thursday, 28 May 2009

Classic Spank Mags #2

KANE.

Published and edited by the late great George Harrison-Marks, Kane magazine is a firm favourite of spank fans the world over and has been around since the early 80's and is still going strong having just celebrated it's 100th issue.

On a personal level one particular issue holds fond memories. KANE #37 will always hold a special place in my heart as it was the first issue I bought of this wonderful UK spanking magazine. It also introduced me to Jennie who at the time was GHM's secretary - that's her on the #37 cover and also on the cover of the Readers Letters Special. From that day on I was always a devoted follower of her bottom as well as her various articles and replies to readers letters in the magazine.

She had quite a fan club by all accounts and often wondered what happened to her as she disappeared from the magazine suddenly. Great lady. Great bum too.



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Spanking Memories

THE HOUSE OF JANUS AND OLD COMPTON STREET LONDON

Anyone who has the slightest interest or curiosity in the UK spanking genre will know the name
Janus. Going back to the late 60's the name Janus is associated with a stable of world famous spanking magazines that have scratched the itch of many a keen spanker or spankee over the years.

Janus issue 69 with the lovely Francesca on the cover was the first mag I bought and was my first real insight into what being interested in spanking actually meant and I can remember the actual thrill of seeing the first photo of a ladies bottom "pancaking" I still have this issue stored away in the attic somewhere!!
On the back of the magazine was a drawing of a shop and I promised myself if I ever got the chance I'd look up the address.


The Janus shop in London. 40 Old Compton Street.

A couple of years later I visited London and during one sunny spring day I went to that shop.

It was like Aladdin's cave. Such a wonderful yet strange experience to be in a place I had read so much about and seeing spanking magazines, novels, paperbacks and video's wall to wall.
I spent an age browsing without that awkward feeling I always felt when buying magazines in a non specialist shop. I've often wondered if the gentleman I chatted briefly with was Gordon Sergeant, the owner of Janus. It would be nice to think he was.


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Any UK spank fans out there with memories of Old Compton Street? Would love to hear from you. Feel free to post your comments at the bottom of this post.

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Announcing: YEOWCH Spanky Award

Quantity is not necessarily a sign of quality and it is sadly a principle which many online spanking producers do not pay heed to as far too many websites and feeder blogs are stuffed to the gills with bland same old same content with a narrowband remit which leaves the discerning spanking surfer disappointed and wary of purchasing content or subscribing long term.

Most of these sites and feeder blogs tend to be hardcore punishment themed where the majority of content seems to be some poor waif caught doing some misdeed or t'other, stripped naked and spanked/paddled/caned in what looks like a god dammed World War II hangar or a run down Victorian classroom by a stern teacher/task master. Boring. How can you have a wank to that?!


I figure if you're here - yes, YOU, then you must at least share my frustrations and are discerning in what exactly it is you're seeking by way of spank satisfaction. So as cerebral cyber beer buddies I'd just like to announce (drum roll please maestro) - the YEOWCH SPANKY AWARD

Ok, I know. It's not exactly Oscar but hey, I'm on a budget here. Cut me some fucking slack. This prestigious award will be a sign of quality and only those websites or blogs which I deem to be innovative, creative, diverse and above all interesting will get the red carpet treatment. The odd piccy of fat arsed women being walloped with style helps too..

So keep checking YEOWCH for future recommendations and just see who is deserving of the much sought after SPANKY!!


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Wednesday, 27 May 2009

Ashes Botty Stamping Scene


Further to the post below dedicated to the perfect rotundity of Keeley Hawes bottom I did a bit of digging around to see if I could find anything on one of her best scenes in the first series of BBC's Ashes to Ashes. Known as "the Bottom Stamping" scene and is featured in episode 2 where Hawes as DCI Alex Drake has to undergo an initiation to become part of the team . The dastardly deed is done by her superior Gene Hunt. Due to the editor being a total fucking dimwit there are no real shots of her arse but these are cool none the less.


Bending over and lifting her skirt



This is a joke right?

Gene checking out the goods..

Do you want your arse stamped Bolly Knickers?


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A great scene though the director wants his backside kicked for not giving us a proper rear view of Hawes spectacular bum. Personally, if I was the guy playing Gene Hunt I'd flub my lines a few times and demand a zillion re-shoots. I would be willing to suffer for my art no problem.


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Tuesday, 26 May 2009

Hot Totty Celeb Botty: Keeley Hawes

Now THIS made my fucking day BIG TIME. Talk about putting the lead back in your pencil - this is grrrrreat as Tony the Tiger would say..

After Lost my current favourite tv show is the BBC time-travelling cop drama Ashes to Ashes. I'm a sucker for that kind of thing and love checking out the various theories as to what the fuck is going on story arc wise in online fan forums for the show. Yeah, I know - sad bastard.

Now into it's second series Ashes is a follow up to the award winning Life on Mars and personally I'm enjoying it more than the original series. Mainly because I fancy the pants off the female lead Alex Drake played by the positively scrumptious Keeley Hawes. God what a woman. No one fills out a pair of 1980's style jeans better than she does. Anyone who has seen the show knows exactly what I mean.

If Gene Hunt (pictured next to Hawes and played with much gusto by Phil Glennister) isn't spanking her firm curvy arse in some trans-dimensional alternative universe then he's a piss poor excuse for a copper in my book. "Bolls" as he calls her is as hot as they come as far as I'm concerned and it was a sad day in hell to learn that in real life she's married with 3 kids.

Ack. Some men have all the bloody luck.
So for all devotes of the lovely Alex Drake/Keeley Hawes feast your peepers on the photo below.




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Monday, 25 May 2009

YEOWCH Favourites # 3

..a Luna vision in denim.




Technorati Profile

Story: Big Boobed Secretary

Nineteen year old Stephanie Tweddle was in big trouble and she knew it.


Glancing up from her desk, she could see through the glass partition Mr Thompson, her boss practising his swing as he waited for her to knock on his office door at the stroke of 5pm sharp.
"Oh heck!!"
The ticking of the clock got louder and louder as the seconds passed more quickly than she thought possible until.....
Ding dong, ding dong.
Five O'clock had finally arrived. With her belly doing flip-flops and her arse cheeks cringing with fright, Stephanie got to her feet, put the "Size 6 to 10 inches deluxe battery operated model stocklist." file away in its correct drawer and reached around to smooth the material of her tight chequered tartan skirt down as she made her way to his office.
*
Rat-a-tat-TAT !!
At the sound of the rap, Laurence Thompson, owner and proprietor of Thompson's Erotic Enterprises looked up and smiled as he saw the shadow of his secretary through the glass waiting for her caning.
Ah....Miss Tweddle.
From the moment he interviewed her for a job all those months ago when she wobbled in wearing a tight black skirt with an even tighter white blouse hiding what were undoubtedly an enormous pair of tit's, he knew that she was the secretary for him, even with her lack of experience. Truth to tell, he couldn't keep his eyes of her massive melons as she sat before him biting her rosy lips and fiddling with a stray strand of her long fiery red hair.
At first he smiled, ignoring her mistakes with a "don't worry my dear, you'll learn." hug before giving her rather splendid arse a wee pat that made her squeak and giggle in surprise. In fact come to think of it, she didn't seem to mind his little indiscretions at all.!!
Perhaps she thought them a small price to pay for him keeping her on in spite of her increasingly frequent boo-boo's. But unknown to her Mr Thompson had other idea's, for in his quiet moments he was a connoisseur of the female bum and quite enjoyed having a young lady across his lap on the odd occasion though even as a confirmed bachelor in his mid-forties those opportunities were rare indeed and invariably were with the begrudging assistance of "handsomely paid ladies of the night" who were not into it at all....
"Come in." he called as he sat back in his leather chair.
The door creaked open a bit and the pensive face of his secretary peeked round it.
"Yes? " he sighed, enjoying the moment as he always did.
""M..Mr Thompson ?" she stuttered licking her upper lip with that dainty tongue of hers. "I..I'm here for my c..caning Sir."
He motioned for her to enter and close the door behind her.
*
"Right Stephanie, lets have these frilly things down shall we, then you can bend over the desk and we can make a start oky-dokey?" he ordered standing over her and flexing the thin rattan between his hands before bending it into an arch that had the quivering girl boggle eyed in fear. Having discarded her skirt, she reached behind her and slipped her slender fingers into the waistband of her black french knickers before with a swivel of her wide hips easing them down to mid-thigh.
"Splendid my dear, now...you remember what we said last time I caned you?" he asked as she stood before him with downcast eyes, hands clasped in front of her fanny trying to hide her soft puss before his leering gaze.
Said?
Last time?
Oh..OH!!
"Oh my...he doesn't want me to do that now?! "Wh...what, here now Sir?" she squeaked, swallowing hard as he let the tip of the cane go and stared in morbid fascination as it wobbled and waved before her red face."Oh please Mr Thompson I don't think I should." she hiccupped shivering, knowing that he would brook no argument from her.
Folding his arms, he shook his head. "A little humiliation added to your punishment will do you good Stephanie, so come on..off with your blouse this minute and hurry up for I haven't got all day girl!!" he indicated, pointing to her white garment.
"Oh Sir..." she pouted as with a sigh, she reached up and began to undo the small white buttons on her tight white blouse with her boss watching her striptease with his tongue poking the inside of his right cheek in rapt admiration as she wobbled and wriggled before slipping off her garment, folding it and placing it neatly on the chair beside her. Beneath a mass of hair, she glanced up at him with the question hanging between them.
He nodded.
So, taking a deep breath she reached behind her causing her over-developed encased boobs to thrust out towards him as she fiddled with the fiddly strap until.....
Boing!!!
Her bra fell away causing each massive bouncy balloon to spring free before she reached across with an arm to try and hide them from his gaze which, in the circumstances was nigh impossible due to their impressive size and titifullness as the flesh oozed over her guard.

"My God, spectacular!!" he thought to himself.
"I bet she's a right little vixen when mounted." he muttered to himself with so much dribbling lust that he nigh forgot the reason she was standing near naked in front of him in the first place.
"W...wouldn't you rather s..ser..spank my bum Mr Thompson like you did the first time I made a mistake..peeeeer..pleeease?" she sniffed as she saw him twiddling his finger for her to turn around and bend over the desk.

"Hmmmm?" he sighed to himself as he remembered the first time when he called her into his office after she had made one costly mistake to many to ignore.

"Sack?" she gasped as she sat before his desk, her surprise writ large over her pretty face.

He nodded. "I'm sorry Stephanie, you're a lovely lass but you just cannot keep making mistakes like you've been doing sweetheart....I'll pay you up for the rest of the week but I think its best if we call it a day." he explained, feeling awkward as he liked her a lot and not just because of her obvious charms. To his dismay, Stephanie started to sniff and sniffle as she bowed her head and fiddled with the hem of her black skirt.
"I..I thought I was doing alright Mr Thompson even though I can be a bit of a scatterbrain at times and forget things you tell me to do..but but...please don't sack me Sir..cos..cos..." she hiccupped and looked up at him tearfully in faint hope. Reaching over the table he handed her his hanky to dry her eyes.
Scatterbrained!! That was one word for it, the evidence was piled high in his stockroom due to her last boo boo, stack upon stack of cardboard boxes stuffed with "Rita Rectum - an arseshaggers dream come true....and she never says NO!!" blow up dolls that reached to the bloody ceiling!!

He shook his head. "I'm sorry Stephanie....it just hasn't worked out." he smiled apologetically.
"But..but you don't understand Sir, me dad will go ballistic when he finds out I've been sacked and he'll...he'll.." she whispered as her face went white.

"He'll what?" he asked, curious in spite of his resolve as to the reason why she was so upset and flustered.

Blinking away her tears, she looked down at the floor and bit her lip wondering if she should say anything..family secrets and all that, but she knew she had to try and keep her job or she'd really be in for it when her dad got home from work.
"He'll..well, its..its see he's ever so strict is me dad Mr Thompson an' he goes mental if I get into trouble and all...so if you give us the sack fer being so daft, he'll blow his top and he'll...spa..er..spank me an' an' he has this big leather belt an' he'll probably us that on me bum as well!!" she whispered, blushing to the roots of her red hair as the tears dribbled down her rosy cheeks.
Spank?
Belt?
"He spanks you?" he asked shocked, his mind working over-time as his heart bounced around inside his chest as he listened to this young lady reveal her part innocently in a secret fantasy fetish of his.

"Yes Sir, really really hard an' all." she pouted as she watched him sit back in his chair and tap his fingers together as if re-considering sacking her. She smiled hesitantly at him, perhaps he was going to think kindly on her and not let her get into trouble with her father...after all he did give her the job in the first place even though she had no experience or qualifications for the post.
But Mr Thompson had other idea's. He sat forward. "Stephanie, I have a proposition to put to you which may help us both er....come to some sort of satisfactory arrangement....if you're willing that is." he began.
She nodded her head enthusiastically. He wasn't going to sack her!!
As she sat listening, her boss smiled and outlined what would be required of her for him not to dismiss her but as he continued her joy turned from outright relief, to a furrowed brow of bemusement, puzzlement and finally, as the penny dropped her mouth fell open when he finished by saying....
"So Stephanie, if you want to keep your job you have to let me spank you after every mistake and if you've made a really, really big one like ordering 500 blow up dolls instead of 50 well, I'm sure I can find something other than my hand to use on your bum, so what do you think, do we have a deal.?" he finished sitting back and grinning at her like the cat who got the cream.
Stephanie just sat staring at him dumbstruck with big round eyes, but in her heart of hearts knowing it was either get the sack and get a thorough walloping off her old man or submit her fat botty to Mr Thompson instead and keep her job. Talk about "out of the frying pan into the fire!!" She stuck out her tongue and licked her upper lip as she glanced down at his hands. Big hands. Oh heck!! But she knew that he knew that she knew she was in serious poop and that she had no choice in the matter....for anything would be better than her dad finding out!!! "Alright Sir," she sighed, resigned to her fate. "If you promise not to tell my dad you can spank or belt my bum every time I get into trouble."

"I won't tell you again Stephanie, bend over further..go on spread your legs apart and stick up your fat arse higher or else I'll spank you before I cane you!!" ordered Mr Thompson as he smiled at the memory of how they had both come to this pass. Resting her head on the cool wood of his desk, she wriggled her prominent bot and arched her back more causing each massive tit to spread out beneath her as she stuck up her shaking arse as high as she could and with a low groan awaited the start of her punishment.
"Oh...its cold!!" she gasped, her breasts pancaking out as her inch long, rock hard nipples rubbed over the coarse grain of the wood sending shivers through her body which triggered the juices of her sex thus oiling up her tight sheath which had just started to tingle with THAT tingle that always made her feel deliciously giddy and faint.
"Ready my girl?" he asked behind her prone form as he reached down and pinched the swollen head of his distended nine inch member and eased it down his trouser leg so it laid in a more comfortable position along his thigh. All his semi-naked secretary could do was squeak and clench the cheeks of her rotund seat in his general direction as a sign that she was....even when she was not.
Licking his lips, her boss stepped forward and grasped the waistband of her knickers and eased them down a bit more giving him a brief glimpse of the lips of her reddened vagina and the pinched ring of her anus that was twitching as she flexed the muscles of her backside.
Hmmm maybe. Maybe today.
Stepping to her right side, Mr Thompson bounced the business end of the cane across her white goose-pimpled cheeks to measure his aim then, bracing his feet slightly apart he reached back and with a full bodied, wrist snapping swing let her have it right across the peaks of both mounds of her arse flesh with a resounding CRACK!!
"N..noooooyeeeeeeoowwwww MR THOMPSON SIR!!" shrieked Stephanie as she felt the bite of the stick sink deep into her arse fat and the wash of white hot, red branding pain wallowed and waxed out from the epicentre of her torment. The blow had knocked her further over the desk and she scrambled with her hands to grasp the far edge as she gritted her teeth and stamped her feet trying to shake off the awful sting that was radiating up her spine and setting off fireworks in her head.
"Ohhhhhhmmmmmmhhhhmmmmmmoooooowwww don't cane my poor bum so haaaaaaard Mr Thompson, ohhhhhh it stttttttttings sooooo I..I'll have welts on my bum fer a week!!" she gasped, knowing that by the end of her caning she was going to have six blistered tramlines across each of her cheeks and that a canvas of painful bruises would follow in their wake to add to her misery.
But even though the first stroke had been a biting, cutting and very hard one she still ground her hips and kept her position bent over, knickers at half mast and not caring that she was showing her pussy and bumhole to her elderly employer....
Hmmmmm. In fact, come to think of it she wouldn't mind if he tried to take one or two liberties with her person and......
Oh!! Tightening the walls of her slippery-tube, she could feel the soft tickly trickle of her sex sap lubricating the pink walls of her fanny and seep out to leave the outer lips of her puss dew shiny with the fragrance of her arousal wafting out from the core of her being. Peeking over her shoulder, she glanced at him as he slipped off his brown jacket and rolled up his sleeves in readiness to deliver the next cut to her backside. "I wonder if he has a big one?" she sighed to herself, her mind floating off into the void and away from the throbbing that her physical self was suffering. But her randy musings were cut off abruptly when...
THHHHHHHHHERWWWWWWICKKKKKKK!!
Stephanie screamed, hollering at the top of her lungs as Mr Thompson whipped in number two with a devilishly naughty slice that curled around the width of her wobbling bum in the most tender place of all...the junction between bum and thigh. "NOT THERE Sir!!!" she spluttered, reaching around with grasping fingers to trace the searing cut."Oh awwwwwww not theeeeeere..p..perrrr ohhhhh please it HURTS A LOT!!" she squealed as she pushed and pulled each tender cheek apart trying to cool off the build up of heat. Mr Thompson dropped to his right knee behind her, watching as she kneaded her flesh revealing the damp well of her twat to his close gaze as he sniffed the scent of her sex.
As a drop of sap oozed out of her pulsing hole to dribble through her red pubes and slither down her right thigh...he made a decision, a decision that would either get him in serious trouble or ease the agonising ache in both his fuck-stick and hanging nutsack.
Stephanie gazed round eyed at Mr Thompson's absolutely HUGE member. "Oh Mr Thompson, its sooooooooooo big!!" she gasped in admiration at the gently bobbing monster as she knelt at his feet as he stood over her. "C.....can I ..can I suck it Mr Thompson?" she whispered as he reached down and lifted it to her beetroot face and nodded enthusiastically. Even though her bum was still smarting something terrible after the two cuts of the cane, she slowly raised her right hand and gently grasped his swollen dick just behind the shrouded head and with both of them watching in rapt horniness, she began to deliberately ease her warm hand up and down the long length of his pulsing shaft drawing his stretched foreskin back and forth over the apple-like purple head of his dong thus giving him a leisurely wank as his eye wept out its spit and gleamed in front of her lust-filled eyes.
"Do you want me to suck out your spunk Mr Thompson?" she giggled in a girlish voice as if asking for permission to give him a blow job.
He nodded like a dummy.
"Do you want me to suck it aaaaaaaall out?" she smiled naughtily at him as she lent forward, stuck out her dainty pink tongue and licked wetly from the base of his pussy plunger up to the swollen crown of his cock-knob before diddling the hollow of his piss-slit and scooping out some of his tangy froth.
He nodded again with the sweat dripping from his brow as he watched with glazed eyes as his young secretary stooped under his long aching schlong and licked his swinging balls with loving care and attention.

".........and do you want me to swallow it as well Mr Thompson?" she breathed as her mouth hovered over the quivering end of his pudfucker with her peeping up at him through a mass of flowing red locks as she continued to masturbate him with slow caressing strokes.

Again...not able to speak, he nodded as he started to unbutton his shirt.
"Oh and Mr Thompson." she whispered as her lips kissed his dripping bulb."You know when I said you could spank and cane me for being so silly?" she mumbled, staring as she squeezed his overlong hotdog causing the head to mushroom up and blush a dark purple.
"Uh huh." he gasped as she licked his meat.
Sitting back, she looked up at her boss. "Well....after you've punished me Mr Thompson, you can shove this lovely big willy right up my pussy into my belly as well, if you want to of course...so Mr Thompson, do we have a deal?" she giggled as she lowered her head and with a sighing sluuuuuurp opened her ruby lips wide and sank them over the head of his dicky dangler that made him wince and go cross-eyed as she sucked long and hard on his erect cock.

Fucking hell !! And to think he had nearly sacked her.

The End.
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Sunday, 24 May 2009

Spank Stars: Tanya Fox


Discovering Tanya Fox was one of those things that make the Internet a joy. I first came across her via a realplayer clip link on some obscure spanking forum. The otk clip was only about 2 minutes long but after it had finished I was a dedicated fan forever.

Before getting into the spanking scene doing video's with companies like Shadowlane she was a hardcore porn starlet who specialised in anal sex and was blessed with what I consider to be the best arse/ass/rear/backside/tushy/fanny in all of spankingdom.

Calling it a bubblebutt doesn't do her magnificent derriere justice. Poet's would wax lyrical about it and the stories would get taller and taller with every telling at the mere sight of it's fulsome voluptitudidness(!!!!). She also had a pain tolerance level that is to be respected and admired as anyone would testify after seeing her get a thrashing on one of her video's.


the delectable Tanya Fox and her famous bubble butt

I love this woman. It must have been so much fun to spank her as she was a great little actress with her yips and yelps and she exudes a kind of shy femininity that I find irresistable. It's sad she disappeared from the scene a few years back with rumours saying she started a new life in Canada.

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Info: Alternate Names: Tanya Fox | Katja | Heather Martin | Kim Pare | Kim Parker | Kimberly Parkland | Kim Parkland | Suzy Spain.

YEOWCH count


THANKS FOR SUPPORTING YEOWCH

Early today my blog YEOWCH passed a sort of personal milestone. 50,000 hits in what has been a little over 2 months since I decided to redesign YEOWCH as a blog and not a website. Despite the odd problem with hosts I feel that the goals I set for the site are now being reached and with more visitors checking it out each day. Today another mini summit was also reached - stats showed that there was over a 1500 unique readers over the previous 24 hour period. Fantastic. Much appreciated

I always wanted YEOWCH to be more than a "spanking blog" and this will be something which will develop as time goes on. Spanking should be fun, a laugh and downright kinky as far as I'm concerned. Sex is also just as important to the outlook of YEOWCH as spanking. Over the coming months I'll be tinkering with the design of YEOWCH whilst adding more of my own sex and spanking fiction as well as other stories from some great erotic authors. Keep checking back for the latest updates.

I hope you find my blog an entertaining, interesting and above all else FUN place to visit.


So thanks for helping YEOWCH to reach this milestone.

Ian.

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Saturday, 23 May 2009

YEOWCH Favourites # 2


Lucy Bailey. Brilliant.

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Story: Spanking Agency 1

The man and his new client walked into and looked around the empty room. She turned to the Estate Agent who was fiddling nervously with his clip-board making sure he had all the correct documents to hand. "All right, I'll take it." she said after a moments pause.
The bespectacled man smiled and held out a pen. "Sign here, Miss Malone."
The woman signed and started to leave. As she was following him out she stopped at the door and turned to look back into the room which was to be her own personal office. So this was it. She had done it. She was on her way. Molly Malone's Spanking Agency was finally in business.
*
At the ring of the small bell above the shop door, Mrs Baldock - Betty to her friends - looked up from the magazine she was reading as the door opened and a tallish, elegant, middle-aged lady entered with a spectacular mane of shoulder length brunette hair and who was dressed in a smart red jacket, matching skirt and stockings. The woman smiled and came up to the counter where Betty worked as receptionist for the magazine Adult Monthly News. Patting her purplish perm, she smiled revealing a fine pair of yellow false teeth. "Ello, can I be of assistance dear?" she asked sweetly.
Molly glanced around at the rather plain surroundings before opening her purse and taking out a typed note. "I hope you can. I'd like to place an advert in the next issue of your magazine." she indicated.
The receptionist perched her wing-frame Dame Edna look-alike glasses on the end of her nose and read the contents of the note mumbling as she went. Betty blinked and did a double take at the customer. This was certainly most peculiar and downright unusual. Over the top of her spectacles she looked at the woman who was busy glancing through an old copy their monthly magazine showing a lady of mature years gazing at the camera whilst suggesting funny things she'd like to do with a carrot on the cover. "Spanking ?" she blurted out trying not to sound so surprised. She'd thought she'd seen everything going. Apparently not.
Molly nodded. "Yes. " she smiled. "Why, is there a problem ?" she asked.
"Oh, I er no, not at all. We just don't get much call for this sort of thing in 'ere. Most men like their hanky panky straight up and down. " Betty paused. "Or maybe that should be straight in and out. Anyway, let me see now. Well, you can have a full page advert, that's A4, for twenty pounds or a quarter page for five."
Molly frowned. How big was big enough to get her new enterprise noticed ? "Mean as you start to go on." she said to herself firmly. Think real big. "A4 will be fine, thank you." she replied, fishing in her purse and handing over a crisp note. Molly picked up the current issue and was leafing through it. "How far is it distributed?" she asked.
The older lady tapped a pencil loudly on her false teeth. "Oh, all over the place really. Down south and up north. From Lands End to John O'Groats. We get a lot of swingers from the Highlands for some reason. They're a funny lot up there in the mountains I hear."
Molly nodded, smiling. A sizeable circulation then by the sound of it. That was good news. The more people who read the magazine the better. As she opened the door to leave with the bell ding-a-linging merrily, she turned back. "When's the next issue out?" she enquired.
Betty squinted at a fading calendar which hung above a dusty typewriter on which a scantily clad lady was sucking avidly on a rather large lollipop. "Hmmm, ahhh here we go....twenty third of this month."
It was the tenth today.
Molly smiled. "Thank you...bye !" Outside she put up her black umbrella to shield her from the pitter-pattering of raindrops. Thirteen days. She had thirteen days to be ready. All she needed now were women who liked nothing more than getting a sore bum.
*
Tap-tap.
Molly looked up from her desk. "Yes?"
The door opened and a peroxide blonde head popped around. "Miss Malone, the ladies have arrived for their interviews."
Molly nodded. "Thanks Dolly, send them in. I may as well see them all together." she indicated waving her hand.
"Righty-ho."
There was a slight commotion outside as the ten women filed in and stood looking fidgety and nervous before the desk. Dolly bounced around them, holding their applications in her dainty hand. "Here you go Miss Malone. I made sure they filled in all their details, address, telephone number...date of birth, National Insurance number...oh, and er....spanking and sexual preferences." she blushed as she thrust out her rather splendid bosom which sat like a pair of beachballs on her small frame.
Molly smiled. "That will be all Dolly, oh and hold all my calls for the next hour will you.?"
Dolly curtsied, realised what she had done and skipped quickly from the room, her face as red as a blushing beetroot.
Molly looked up at the rather diverse array of new recruits and smiled. "Hmmmmm, interesting. Very interesting." she thought as she introduced herself to her new recruits for the Spanking Agency.
*
The 23rd dawned wet and miserable. Dolly blew on her perfectly manicured red nails, lost in the task of primping and preening as she sat at her desk. She glanced up at the clock facing her on the wall. 9.30am. They had been open for half an hour.
Molly popped her head around the door. "Any calls Dolly ?" Dolly shook her head. Molly sighed and was about to return to her office when the phone suddenly rang making them both jump. Dolly stared at it transfixed. She glanced at her Boss.
"Go on then - answer it!!" laughed Molly, holding up her crossed fingers.
Dolly swallowed her gum and gingerly picked up the phone. "Good Morning, this is the Spanking Agency, Dolly speaking, how may I be of service?" she twittered in her best Secretaries voice. Molly stood there waiting like a cat on a hot tin roof. Dolly turned with the phone to her ear and gave her a thumbs up. A customer....their first !!
*
Mister Arthur P. Knutt was a rather strange and funny bloke. Not funny as in ha ha funny but funny as in funny weird. He was well into his pension and had never married. Slightly stooped, he stood about 5'11 tall, had a mop of grey hair that resembled a burst mattress. No wonder his was know in these parts as Catweazle. He lived on the end terrace house surrounded by a garden best described as "colourful" with flotsam and jetsam everywhere. He didn't bother his neighbour and she didn't bother him.
His neighbour ? A certain Mrs Tuffty. A thick-set fiftyish lady who ate too many pie's and who had a fetish for washing her underwear too often to be sane. Every Monday, there they were, her bloomer's and brassiere's, hanging on her washing line blowing in the wind. Binoculars in hand, Arthur would stand at his upstairs window and "tut tut" to himself as he leered at her red-poker dotted knickers that would fit snugly on a cow's arse. Maybe she was trying to tell him something. Maybe it was some weird kind of female seduction intended to ensnare him. If he tried anything on with her, she'd probably bray the living shit out of him....either that or squash him like a bug if she sat on his maypole. His resolve ? Keep a wide berth from Battleship Bertha. But then again.....can she cook ?
*
For Arthur P. Knutt each day was much like any other day, they merged into a kind of hazy fog where life's little irritancies such as getting up, getting washed, eating breakfast and going for a crap just got in the way. But today was different...for today was the 23rd.
He was up bright and early, peering through his curtains keeping an eye out for Mr Billericky the postman. "Better deliver the bugger on time." he grumbled, still dressed in his tartan dressing-gown. To Arthur's blessed relief, he was for in the hall lay an A4 sized non-descript brown envelope addressed to a Mr Knutt. Picking it up, he hugged it to his blue-striped pyjama bosom and with his well-worn ticker going fifty-to-the-dozen, he nipped back into his sitting-room and plonked his hairy arse in his fireside seat anticipating the little thrills to come.
*
Tits, fannies and bum's of all shapes and sizes danced spiritually before his be-penny spectacled eyes as he flicked through the latest issue of Adult Monthly News. Flicking past the stories of nubile ladies getting a banging from the randy vicar or frustrated biddies squealing while something the size of Big Ben was stuffed up their dried up chutes, Arthur came to his favourite section of the magazine.....the adverts.
Adverts for this, adverts for that, ranging from: "Realistic Ruby and her three lifelike holes" doll to "Is your penis too small ? Don't be stuck with a small dick, the solution to your problem is here... ***Suckomatic*** We guarantee that with our revolutionary, scientifically tested vacuum pump you'll end up with a dick that'll make the ladies swoon !!!!" Arthur snorted as he turned the page."Bollocks." he muttered to no one in particular. He suddenly sat forward adjusting his spectacles and stared at something that had caught his eye.. In his head bell's had begun to ring and he felt a sudden flush he hadn't felt in years. Devouring the details, he finally came to rest on the phone-number. His heart was beating hard like a drum and he started to twitch.
Should he or shouldn't he ? Once side of his mind was shouting "Go on....PICK UP THE PHONE FER CHRIST'S SAKE !!" The other cautioning him not to "Be so stupid Arthur...you're just asking for trouble at your age !!" Arthur bit his lip, the urge to grab the phone was overwhelming. He staggered to his feet and as if in slow-motion, made his way into the hall where his little white telephone sat. He stared at it. "Pick me up. You know you really want to." it sang to him. Muttering an oath he grabbed it. It was 9.30am.
"You daft old bloody fool." he muttered listening to the dialing tone on the other end of the line.
*
Arthur hauled himself out of the bath and stared at himself in the mirror. "Bugger, I still look like a drowned bloody rat!" he winced, staring down at his chalky white carcass. He opened his bathroom cabinet and took out the antiseptic vapour rub plus the talcom powder and doused himself all over in a cloud of perfume that would make a harem blush.
*
A short while later.....
Arthur glanced nervously at the clock. "What had the young lady said.?" he muttered aloud. 11.00a.m. It was 11.02am. "She's late." he sighed as he got up from his chair and picked up the poker giving his fire a prod as he tried to recall THAT conversation. She'd asked him a lot of personal questions. Apart from his name, address and serial number it had been. "Thank you Mr Knutt, now to send the right lady for you to spank or whatever, I have to ask you some personal questions if that's alright with you?"
By the end of the questionaire, he figured she knew his inside leg measurement too!! In fact, he had just about described his ideal fantasy woman. What she would look like, the role she would play and finally, the most important part....what he would like to do to her. With a worried frown he had asked "Is that alright...can you, you know...do it.?"
The lady's bright and breezy voice had reassured him. "Mr Knutt, I think we have the ideal woman for you."
*
RAT-A-TAT-TAT.
With boiling kettle in hand, Arthur jumped with fright. "Oh my God, she's here!!" he gasped, turning and fastening the belt of his tartan dressing-gown. Shaking, he went to the door and nervously opened it.
HOLY MOLY !!
Arthur was speechless. Starting at her sensible shoe's, rising up slowly past her legs, thighs, chest and on to her amused face, he gawped like a kid looking in the sweet-shop window. Standing on his doorstep, dressed in a long black coat carrying a small bag was his spanking choice. A very large and well endowed black woman.
*
With a rumble beat, his dream spoke. "Ahh youza Mr Knutt.?"
Like a little boy, Arthur nodded. If he didn't shut his mouth, he was going to drool all over his slippers.
She opened her bag, rummaged inside, found her purse and pulled out a card showing it to his dazed gaze. "Mah name's Bella Gingangooley, isa from the.." she looked around checking that the coast was clear "Spanking Agency." she finished in a whisper. When Aurthur didn't say anything but simply kept on staring like some deranged idiot she asked again "Ah youza alright Mr Knutt ?" He continued to stare at her like she had two heads. "Mr Knutt ?"
"Huh, what...oh, God I'm sorry, please come in." he stuttered coming to his senses at last. Once she was in his home, he quickly looked up and down the street and hurriedly shut his front door.
*
Still dressed in her long black overcoat, Bella put on her glasses and looked at her first ever client. "Hmmm," she mused, eyeing him up and down,"..he's a just a lonely old soul in need of a dash of spice in his life ah guess." That was one way to put it. She smiled at him, her pearly whites gleaming against her dark skin. She had a set of perfect teeth. "Now Mr Knutt." she began.
Arthur raised a hand. "Call me Arthur." he offered trying to come down from cloud 9 and failing.
She nodded. "Alright Artur, only if youza calls me Bella mind!" she laughed, a deep rumble that had him crossing everything he could think of. She reached in her bag and pulled out a yellow folder. Taking out a sheet of paper, she perched her spectacles on the end of her nose and read out the charge sheet. "Hmmmm hm, I see...black woman, quite well endowed," she turned to him as he sat with a pink face feeling like a naughty boy."Role-play...hmmm, spanking and a slippering." She put the paper down on the coffee table. "Artur, everytink seems in order, shall we start?"
He nodded. He was tongue-tied. He was also scared shitless.
She got up from the chair. "Isa'll go and get ready in the kitchen, then isa'll knock on the door and then we'll play our little game...is that okay Artur?"
Arthur gulped and nodded like an eager puppy.
*
Knock-knock.
Arthur licked his lips. "Come in Nurse." he called, his voice breaking with excitement. There was a click as the kitchen door opened slowly. As she entered, Arthur gasped in leering admiration. WOW !! Arthur felt as if someone had stuck a cattle prod up his back passage and threw the switch. Coming in from the kitchen was a vision in light blue.
Bella smiled at his leering face. "Youza kinky old sod !" she thought to herself. "Hello, Mr Knutt, howsa you this day? Time for Nurse Bella to see her patient." she smiled.
Arthur licked his lips. Fucking hell. Perfect. In her nurses uniform she was sex on legs to him. From her dainty white cap, past a uniform which bulged alarmingly to black stockings and black shoe's. Perfect. He was laid on the couch come bed. "Oooo Nurse, I don't feel so well!" he groaned, trying to sit up.
She came to his side and pushed him back. "Sit still Mr Knutt, let me have a feel." She reached up and laid her hand on his brow. "Youza kinda hot Mr Knutt, think isa better take your temperature, here let me help youza up." she indicated, reaching over and supporting him as he groaned like the best ham actor Hollywood ever saw and got to his feet. "Better take off youza gown." she nodded. He shrugged it off, leaving him standing in slightly too large and baggy blue striped pyjamas. She went over to her bag and pulled out a thermometer. Approaching him, he opened his mouth. She laughed and slapped his arm. "Nota there silly, turn around and bend over..."
Arthur blinked bemused. She wanted him to what ?? He turned and bent over. Nurse Bella came behind him and with a tug, pulled down his pyjama bottoms. He gave a squeak of alarm.
"Naw youza be a good boy and open wide for Nurse Bella." she giggled.
Very Funny. Funny ha ha. He spread his legs and shivered as she stuck the cold instrument up his back-passage.
"Keep it in for a minute." she smiled as she took his wrist to check his pulse.
He stood like an idiot, loving every second as she went behind him again.
"What is she going to do nooowwwwAAGGGGGGHHH !!!" he squeaked. She had bent down, stuck her hand between his legs, grabbed hold of his nut-sac and gave it a tug. He stood up in gasping shock, so quickly in fact that it made the thermometer pop out of his rear end shoot across the room like an arrow. "What...what the hell are you doing Nurse?!" he winced, as he turned on her clutching his crown jewels.
She stepped back, her hand to her mouth. "Oh, Mr Knutt, isa so sorry. Isa don't know what come over me." she cried acting the part.
He waggled a finger in her face. "I ought to report you to your superiors."
Nurse Bella started to shiver with fear. Nurse Bella was in deep shit. "Ohhh sir, don't do that, isa'll get in real trouble if you do !"
Arthur pretended to frown. "Trouble ?"
She nodded with tears forming. "Isa'll lose mah job sir.!!"
He pulled up his pyjama bottoms and snorted. "I should tell your boss Nurse, it was a very naughty thing you did .Its not good enough, if you were my wife I'd spank your bum for being so rude." he scolded her, realising that the time was near.
She took out a hanky and blew her nose. "S..spanking?" she whispered tearily.
He nodded. "And a hard one too followed by a dose of my leather slipper for afters."
"Oh..." she mumbled.
They stared at each other. The crackle of spanking anticipation hung in the air. "My ball's in your court so to speak Nurse Bella." he thought wryly. Say you want it. Tell me you want it.
"M...Mr Knutt, if youza promise not to tell......."
*
Arthur sat on his couch watching as Nurse Bella did a strip. With each button undone, more of her ebony flesh spilled out. She shrugged her shoulders and eased off her uniform, leaving her standing in a spectacularly huge black bra, suspender belt and sheer stockings. For the first time in a long time, Arthur felt a stirring down below. "Uh ohhhh." he moaned, as he stared at her huge bulging bust.
She glanced up at him and with a naughty smile undid her bra and let it drop on the floor.
With round eyes, he watched as two udder-like bazoom's dropped south to her waist, wobbling as they settled with thumb sized brown nipples pointing at the floor. He clapped his hands. "Over my knee Nurse, right now."
*
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOooo Sir, mah bum's sooooo sore !!!"
Was it ? With her dusky colour, he could hardly tell. He'd been spanking her arse for nearly five minutes non stop. He noticed his hand was sore. God knows what her arse felt like. It sort of "looked" sore. SLLLLLLLLAAAAAAPPPPP. He hit her again as she lolled over his lap. The size and weight of her frame making him wheeze as he shifted her around trying to hold her still for her spanking. What an arse. What a really big, fat arse. Talk about being built like the back end of a bus. Each dark cheek was stuffed full of fatty, spankable fat. It wobbled like a blancmange, like a jelly on a plate. She also had an arse crack as mysterious as the Amazon rain-forest. Every time he spanked her, she'd see-saw her legs giving him flashes of her private parts. The lips of her puss would put Mick Jagger to shame and were topped off with a noodle the size of his little finger. With her knicks pulled to mid-thigh he hit her again...hard.
"AYYYYYIIIEEEEyooouuzzzzaaaaaa hitting my bum toozaaaa hard Mr Knutt. I'm sooorrrry!!" she squeaked and squealed. In truth, Mrs Bella Gingangooley was a seasoned lady, well versed in coping with a sore bot. Her old man had dealt with her regularly during their five year sham of a marriage before he buggered off with the lollipop lady. If there was one thing that thirty-eight year old Bella Gingangooley liked more than anything, it was the delicious feeling of having her rear roasted by whatever was at hand. The advert for the Spanking Agency had been a godsend for the lonely divorcee and an opportunity too good to miss. She thanked God for the day she had chanced upon the little newsagent shop on the corner of Hilldale Drive. Whilst browsing the magazine racks her gaze settled on one in particular - on the top shelf. Taking a deep breath and gathering her courage, whilst making sure no one else was in the shop, she reached up and bought it.
Back home safe, she read it from cover to cover then back again. And there on page 45 an advert looking for a certain type of lady had caught her eye. The Spanking Agency
********************
Attention Ladies.
New adult agency looking for submissive ladies who enjoy a sore bum.
Contact Molly on 0183-555-789
*********************
The rest as they say is history.
*
"OOOOOOOOO Ten Mr Knutt SIR!!" squealed Bella, bouncing up and down as she laid across both arm's of the chair.
Arthur stepped back, breathing heavily as his floppy leather slipper dangled from his right hand. He peered at her bot which had turned from a kind of chocolately colour to a deep and dark reddish brown. In fact under closer inspection, he could see the blotches of bruises beginning to appear. Even though he was loving every flipping second, he was knackered. How many more to give her? Maybe he had better ask her. "Nurse, how many more do you want ?"
Bella turned and looked over her shoulder, her long, crinkly black perm shielding her screwed up face. "Keep on going til youza wants to stop Artur...y..you're the c..customer after all and the customer always comes first...unless youza wants to do that other thing youza wanted to do...the extra service." she whimpered.
Er...oh.
He'd forgotten about that. He felt his toes curl at the thought. She was a big lady. She would eat him alive. He rubbed his chin, deep in thought. Coming to a decision, he laid his slipper on the top of her bum. "Bella, I think you've been grand and have cheered an old fella like me up no end. Lets say another ten with the slipper and we'll call your punishment a day hmm?" he whispered warmly to her.
Bella nodded. "Yes sir....oh and sir ?" she moaned softly.
He looked from her fat arse to her face. "Hmm?" Her dark eyes were shining.
"Give me ten hard one's....asa hard asa youza can." she hiccupped, the determination in her voice left him in no doubt to her earnest request. He nodded grimly and eased the slipper away from her flesh, far behind his head. She was staring at him. Their eyes met. A meeting of like-minded people. She squeezed her eyes shut as she watched him stand on tippy-toe and whale the leather down with a lightning crack as it sank into her bruised arse flesh. CCCCCCCRAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCKKKK.
Even the slipper winced.
*
Arthur stood and watched with a wry smile of affection and amusement as Bella staggered back from the chair clutching her bum cheeks. She danced the Irish jig as her red-hot bot throbbed mightily. "Ahhh GOD, God GOOOD...hmmm owwwwwww !!" she whimpered as she wobbled around the room with hair flying, tits bouncing and her voluptuous backside swaying like a sailor who was as pissed as a newt. She stopped, her pretty features screwed up into a ball. "Oh Artur, youza hit me bot sooooo hard, Isa winnit sit for a week after that." she gulped as the pain reached her skull.
He spread his hands. "Sorry...got a bit carried away." he began.
But she stepped up to his flushed face, bent down slightly and kissed him on the tip of his nose. "Youza daft kinky bugger. Youza lucky I loves it !"
Trying not to stare at her sagging boobs, he beamed like a kid on Christmas morning. "So...so you really liked it ?" he asked surprised.
She made eyes at him and nodded. "Loved it Mr Knutt."
*
Bella Gingangooley had one last task to perform in her appointment with her client - Mr A.P. Knutt. His little bonus.
Its fair to say that Mr A.P. Knutt was looking forward to this particular service too. Bella looked up at him as she knelt at his feet dressed only in stockings and suspenders. With slow deliberation, she opened her mouth slightly and licked all around her full lips with seductive grace.
Arthur's heart plummeted to his boots on an express-elevator to hell as he watched her pink tongue slither over her white teeth. Crikey ! Boy...was he looking forward to this. Behind his back, he crossed his fingers praying that he had enough blood left in his body to reach his dick. "Please, please get hard." his mind chanted.
Bella smiled wickedly. She bent forward and licked the crotch of his pyjamas. "Does a Mr Knutt want his naughty nurse to play with his wee white willy?" she teased invitingly.
Arthur nodded eagerly. Daft question.
She made a face, reached up to grab the waistband and with a shimmy drew his pj bottoms down to his ankles, revealing his knobbly knee's and spindly legs. Arthur began to pray real hard for the first time in his life. Bella lowered her gaze and stared at his member. She bobbed her head from side to side in feminine contemplation. "Hmmm, not bad....bit of a tiddler, but how big when hard.?" she mused. Only one way to find out.
Arthur grunted as he held his pyjama top away from his waist so that he could see all the action. He groaned as he felt her warm mouth envelope his cock. He closed his eyes and with his tongue hanging out, savoured his first blow-job at the ripe old age of sixty. He felt that the time when he tried to stick his willy up the end nozzle of the vacuum cleaner didn't exactly count. Sucking his tiddler, Bella looked up, slightly puzzled. It had hardened a bit but not much and stood out at around 5-6 inches long. This was going to be hard work considering his age. Besides her professional pride was at stake. He had his eye's closed and was swaying with the pleasant sensations radiating out from his dick. Bella smiled wickedly to herself as she let his member pop free. She nipped his cock-head with her teeth.
"Yeowch!!" he jumped, shocked at the pain. "What you do that fer ?" he winced.
She let his cock go and sat back. "Isa not getting very hard is it ?" she sighed, tickling his semi-inflated noodle.
Arthur hung his head. "Age, I guess." he sighed in resigned defeat. Ahhh well, least he got to whack her bum.
But...wait a minute.
She was grinning. She licked her lips. "Perhaps Nurse Bella should try her speciality on it Artur?"
Oh ?
Speciality ? What speciality?
She knelt forward. With a last glance at him, she reached up and....
Arthur stared round eyed with surprise as the black lady took out her false teeth !!
You could of knocked him over with a feather.
She looked up at him with a gummy grin. "Misa tttthhhhhpethiality."
*
Arthur P. Knutt lay slumped on his couch wearing a bemused grin as the lady from the Spanking Agency put on her coat. She smiled at him as she put his tip in her purse. "Enjoy that Artur?" she beamed, flashing her now in place pearly whites.
He looked at her weary drunken smile and nodded his head. Who'd of thought it ? At least he had found out that he still had lead in his pencil.
She came across and kissed his forehead. "Youza was mah first client Artur and I loved having mah fat ass whupped by you. if youza wants to spank me again youza knows who to call." She stood back. "Youza lie still and rest Artur Isa let myself out." she waved as she left him lying there floating off in cloud-cuckoo land.
What a woman. Takes a smart spanking, a hard slippering, gives him a sloppy blowjob and swallows his teaspoon full of spend. What a woman. Mr Knutt was a thoroughly satisfied customer.
*
As the advert says...
Are YOU a frustrated spanker ?
Can't find a willing partner anywhere ?
WE have the solution to your problem.
WE have the women.
So all you frustrated men out there in spankorama land. If you want to whack a bum who you going to call ?
CALL THE SPANKING AGENCY on 0183-555-789
Satisfaction indeed Guaranteed.
The end.
***

Spankorama #1


If you're like me the mere mention of anything to do with our favourite fetish during an everyday normal conversation, situation or setting has your all your senses jumping around as if someone has just stuck a finger up yer bum. Who? What? Where? Huh? You get the idea. The very thought of the "S" word crossing your social radar is enough to charge the very air that you breathe. So I thought it'd be fun to remember some of mine..

Saturday matinee, Odeon Cinema, Newcastle. First showing of the recent box office smash "Crocodile Dundee" and the cinema is packed. Find myself on the left of the family sat next to a rather attractive frizzy-haired brunette who is chatting away to a neat blonde sat on her left sucking suggestively on a straw as she drinks her coke. Both in their early 20's I muse idly as the lights go down and the movie starts.

Everyone is having a good time as it's a fun movie and I'm only vaguely aware of the chit chat to my left. Then the above scene begins and the Sheila on screen decides to go for a dip by slipping off her skirt to reveal a rather full arse. "Fucking hell." I mutter to myself as I shift in my seat trying not to appear the total arse man I am. It's during this episode the girl to my left pipes up with "Oh, look at the size of her bum. It's as fat as yours and she's even got dimples the same as you!!"

Suffice to say I do a what the fuck double take in my seat and feel my ears burning. What did she fucking say?!! Luckily the two of them hadn't seen my startled reaction and were still chatting away. Me, I was on the spanking version of Defcon 5 for the rest of the movie imagining all sorts of crap about what these two strangers were getting up to. Were they a pair of fat arsed lesbian pussy slurpers behind closed doors who spanked each other to multiple orgasms whilst dressed as french maids?!! Anyway, the movie finished and everyone got up to leave and I must confess I dragged the family the long way around to the exit because I was determined to see just how fucking big that arse was if it was the last thing I ever did. Let's just say both of them could sit on my face for the rest of eternity.

Alright, I'm a bad man.


***

Classic Spank Mags #1

FANTASIA #7 - 1950
A rare cover of Fantasia magazine published in the 1950's by Lucian Press. Though a magazine devoted to the dominant female and the male submissive I love this style of "clean" artwork with the hint of sub-textual sexuality and distinctly characteristic female figures with firm thighs and curvy hips.

Despite the original premise of the magazine I kinda like to think those two cute gals are asking that bloke to paddle their sexy backsides and he's stood there thinking "Which one do I wallop first.." Tough call.

***

Pardon my French but..


WHAT THE FUCK?!!!

**Anyone know her number??!**

Friday, 22 May 2009

Spank Stars: Sophie Fennington

One of the most popular girls who got their bottoms thrashed in various late 70's/early 80's UK spanking magazines was the pixyish Sophie Fennington who appeared two or three times in Janus.

Issue 53 and 54 are rightly regarded as classics amongst spank mag connoisseurs and are eagerly sought after by collectors worldwide. The strapping and otk spanking she receives are superbly staged and photographed whilst her caning at the end is one of the finest you will ever see in a print magazine.

A lovely lady who took a severe walloping in her stride she is fondly remembered to this day.

Update:

The above post was originally uploaded to the old version of YEOWCH and it was a wonderful surprise a few days later to log onto the blog and see a comment from none other than Sophie herself saying she very much enjoyed reading my short tribute post.

Classic Sophie from Janus

If you're reading this Sophie just wanted to thank you for your kind remarks about YEOWCH and hope this updated post finds you well, in fine fettle and starting on that autobiography you mentioned in your email about your time and experiences in the spanking world !!

***




Story: Take that Spanking for your Man

A SHORT PHOTO-STORY FROM YEOWCH

Scene: Harry the bricklayer arrives home after his 8 hour shift and only has one thing on his mind - spanking his hot wife Judy..

Judy looked up as Harry entered the kitchen looking hot and sweaty as he always did after a hard day grafting at work. Bells and whistles rang in her head as she wondered if he might be in the mood for a little hot loving in the sack later. She smiled as she watched him hang up his coat and her gaze drifted over his physique which was still impressive for his age. He was a good man and considerate lover - even if he did have one or two little quirks to that aspect of his character that still brought a shiver. Goodness, to think how surprised she had been when he had first told her he was into that!! A man's man no doubt. She counted her blessings every single day.

"Won't be a second honey." she said over her shoulder as she prepared dinner. "You just go wash up and change.."

No sooner were the words out when Harry suddenly grabbed her hand. "Later sweetie." he said with no small matter of pent up determination and raging hormones. "I need you to help me sort something out. Right now."

Judy was so surprised she let him drag her into the sitting room towards their sofa. "Harry, what is it?" she gasped as she felt his grip tighten as he spun her around so that she faced the wall. Pennies began to drop. He was hot to trot. Primed and ready. Torpedo in the tube. "Wait, Harry, look, what, what about your dinner?!"

Harry snorted. "It'll keep. You've been on my mind all day. It got so bad I couldn't think straight. You and your fat ass. I need to spank it real bad."

A spanking? Again? "Oof, Harry, dear. No, hang on. Can't you do it later? When we're in bed? I mean, look, I think I'm in the mood. Did you hear me, I said I'd like to make love later - later, in our bed, you know, me and you, sex. Dammit Harry, why do you want to spank me nowww." she complained as she let him push her forward so her hands were resting on the sofa with her rear pointing compass north. She gasped as she felt him tugging up the hem of her skirt and slip his fingers into the waistband of her skimpy black knickers. "Harry, you can be so unreasonable sometimes. At least close the curtains!!"

Harry could hear the blood pounding in his ears. He was staring at a perfect pair of peach-pure bumcheeks that were quivering like two jellies on a plate. His wife had a perfect backside. He smiled inside when he remembered the first time he told her he was into spanking. It had been their wedding night and the look on her face was one of pure shock and surprise.

"Spanking?!!" she had blurted out as she stood before him all virginal in white stockings and suspenders. "You mean..YOU TOO?!!"

At the memory he laughed and brought his hard hand down hard on his wife of twenty years ass with a resounding SPANK that made her shriek and drum her feet as she tried to cover her rear. Even after twenty years of spanking or whatever she still did that. As ever he felt the lust filling his loins and he knew that dinner would be the last thing on their minds for a long long time..

The End.

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